Evaluated

I hate court ordered psyciatric evaluation. I am never sure whether or not to play crazy or normal. My friends says to just be myself, and I am not entirely sure what they mean by that.

My psyciatrist is one of the Aquino twins. She used to be a medical doctor, like her brother, but she changed job when she discovered that she was terrified of blood. I have known her for years, because our mothers attend the same womens league, so I am actually not sure if this is entirely legal. I am gonna leave that up to her.

"What you need to realize is that there is nothing wrong with your parents", she said.
"Excuse me?" I said. I was slightly confused, because that was the first thing she said as she entered the room.
"'What you need..."
"I heard the words, I just think that it was well early in the conversation to jump to the diagnoses".
"Sorry. My teacher says that parents are the root of all mental issues, and I decided to get to the point fast".
"Aren't you paid by the hour?"
"Oh, right. Good thinking". She wrote something on her notepad.
"So, my parents, eh?" I said, in an attempt to get back on course.
"Yes. You need to learn that they are alright".
"Mommy is alright?"
"Yes".
"Daddy is alright?"
"Yes".
"They just seem a little weird".
"Exactly. You know what you need to do?"
"Surrender but not give myself away?"
"Say, that is not half bad. Mind if I use that?"
"It's a Cheap Trick".
"No, no, it is really good. I want to use it as a subtitle for a paper".
"Alright, knock yourself out".
"You keeping good company?"
"I like to think so. My assistant lives in one of the bedrooms, my neighbour comes over a lot and my friend Mark is this close to being another roommate, but I can't get the guy to pay rent, cheap bastard".
"What about romance. Are you seeing anyone?"
"Nope. Not a soul".
"Because I ran into Gretchen Cornberger the other day, and she mentioned that she was thinking about giving you a call".
"Oh?"
"Yeah. Until I mentioned that I was going to be in charge of your court-ordered psyciatric evaluation. Then she looked all weird".
"Dang! Are you allowed to tell who your patients are? Don't you have a whole ethics code?"
"I skipped a couple of ethics classes. I think the teacher hated me".
"Fair enough, I guess. Do you play Mario Kart?"

And so we did, since the court did pay for the full hour.