From my notebook:
South Park has sucked a great deal since season 3. After that, it went really far up its own ass and got stuck there. And if you are real quiet, you can hear the muffled yells of "Quick, reference something current to give the impression of being relevant. And be sure to insult all sides of the issue, so that we actually don't say anything and offer no solutions. Ooooh, and jokes involving butts, sex and lots of poop, in order to give the illusion of being edgy, despite being adolescent nonsense".
Monday, August 25, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Happy Birthday to me!
Yes, I survived yet another year. A year of ups and downs and starting a blog that is, on average, read by between 14 to 18 people a week, so it is mainly for my own amusement. But anywho, this is a day for celebration. Of me! I need presents and I need them to be forked over pretty soon. Perhaps some chocolate. Or some sort of entertainment. Gimme!
Monday, August 18, 2008
The most annoying phrase in the world
"All you had to do was follow the damn train, CJ".
Yes, and all you had to do was shoot the bloody Vargos, you fat git! How hard can it be. I am on a motorcycle, trying to keep up with a train. You just have to point the gun in a way as to hit the intended goal, in this case four latino criminals on top of a train, not hiding behind anything.
Actually, I am reasonably sure that Marks least favorite phrase is "I am a lesbian", but only after the sixth or so time he heard it. We decided that either he is some sort of magnet for lesbians, who will seek his friendship and lead him on for a few weeks, until they decide to come out, or, he is a magnet for women who are insecure in their sexuality, and he will lead them on their intended path, or, he actually creates lesbians, in some sort of weird way that makes women actually change their sexuality, AKA, the "There gotta be something better than this for me" theory, OR, finally, women lie to get a quick way out of the relationship. That is Ashleys theory. Mark leans to the magnet-theory, while I prefer the creation-theory. Julia has never met a lesbian, so she don't know if they exist.
Mark claims that it all began down at Club Sinnah, where a crazy girl with red hair, who wouldn't say her name, but just quoted Popeye (I yam what I yam an' dats all dat I yam), told him that he was destined to lead girls to their true destiny. He once attempted to form a threesome, and got a couple of girls, but had to leave them alone for a few minutes, while he was finishing some paperwork, and when he came back, they were dancing chin to chin, around a picture of Ellen Degeneres.
Julia just said that her least favorite phrase is "Call heaven, cuz they must be missin' an angel". Apparently, she has heard it every single time that she has every been out on the town. Yes, I live in a one-pick-up-line town. Mark says that he has a much easier time picking up lady-folks here, because they are facinated by his fancy big-city jib-cuttery and novel pick-up-lines, like "you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet" and "Is it hot in here or is it just you?".
Yes, and all you had to do was shoot the bloody Vargos, you fat git! How hard can it be. I am on a motorcycle, trying to keep up with a train. You just have to point the gun in a way as to hit the intended goal, in this case four latino criminals on top of a train, not hiding behind anything.
Actually, I am reasonably sure that Marks least favorite phrase is "I am a lesbian", but only after the sixth or so time he heard it. We decided that either he is some sort of magnet for lesbians, who will seek his friendship and lead him on for a few weeks, until they decide to come out, or, he is a magnet for women who are insecure in their sexuality, and he will lead them on their intended path, or, he actually creates lesbians, in some sort of weird way that makes women actually change their sexuality, AKA, the "There gotta be something better than this for me" theory, OR, finally, women lie to get a quick way out of the relationship. That is Ashleys theory. Mark leans to the magnet-theory, while I prefer the creation-theory. Julia has never met a lesbian, so she don't know if they exist.
Mark claims that it all began down at Club Sinnah, where a crazy girl with red hair, who wouldn't say her name, but just quoted Popeye (I yam what I yam an' dats all dat I yam), told him that he was destined to lead girls to their true destiny. He once attempted to form a threesome, and got a couple of girls, but had to leave them alone for a few minutes, while he was finishing some paperwork, and when he came back, they were dancing chin to chin, around a picture of Ellen Degeneres.
Julia just said that her least favorite phrase is "Call heaven, cuz they must be missin' an angel". Apparently, she has heard it every single time that she has every been out on the town. Yes, I live in a one-pick-up-line town. Mark says that he has a much easier time picking up lady-folks here, because they are facinated by his fancy big-city jib-cuttery and novel pick-up-lines, like "you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet" and "Is it hot in here or is it just you?".
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
My new answeringmachine
"Hi, there. You have called my house and recieved the answeringmachine. Chances are, I am at home. I have not yet picked up the phone. That probably means that I am either doing something more important than picking up the phone or I have checked the caller-ID and found that I didn't want to speak to you. You can try to yell for a few minutes that I ought to pick up the phone, see what fat load of good that'll do you, but I will most likely stay here, right next to the phone, timing your call. The recordholder is still my mom, with 19 minutes and 26 seconds of yelling at me on the machine. Mr. Denby is currently last, with a single "Jerk" afterwhich he hung up. And Mark, it doesn't count as yelling at me to pick up if you are just reciting dirty limerics. Your call may be recorded for trainingpurposes. Now, how do I turn this thing off? Darn it. Julia, did you see the manual for the answeringmachine?" "Here you go." Thank you, but this is for the microwave." "Sorry. You got all this talk all over it. Are you going to rerecord it?" "That whole spell? Hecks no." "Here it is. It was still in the box". "Thank you, Jules. "Press the OK button when done". Well, ofcourse".
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