I read that Paris Hilton is looking for new friends too

85.000 wants to be her friend. Bah, I got 85 applicants, quality friend material, all of them. Except for Gangbang Bob, against whom, it turns out, the courthouse will automatically give out restrainingorders if you ask. They always print out an extra batch, so you can give some to other people as gifts. Through strategic handling out of these, he is technically not allowed within ten miles of me.

So much for that. Anyway, we have had some auditions. We have narrowed it down, a bit. Or, we weeded out the worst ones, like Hank Petkiller and Trishia Hitler. She claims that it is short for Hitlerstein, but she still called me ugly. We had some sort of goth, I guess, Bloodsport Q. Ravengood Darkness-McHorrorshow. She annoyed me. On the upside, we had some lesbians in. As it turns out, butch girls are good company. Gotta have at least one of those. Mark wanted us to hire the lesbian photo-model. We tried telling him that he was not gonna score, but he just kept saying "Oh, ye of little faith". Coincidently the exact same words said by Ashley a day later, when auditioning gay men, about Tall Ted Johnson. I am still arguing for the philippine girl.