Freeze Frame: April 2010

Saturday, April 24, 2010

A Perfect Brainstorm

Young: I think you are all wondering why I called you here today.
Julia: To talk about ways to improve your Blog?
Young: Exactly. Bright girl.
Ashley: You wrote it on the blackboard. Where did you get that, anyway?
Young: I know a guy.
Ashley: A guy who sells blackboards?
Young: Yes. Well, a guy who was fired from Glenn Beck. Alright, ideas. There are no stupid ideas. Except those of the boards former owner.
Mark: Make it more like The Boondocks.
Young: A subtle satire of the interplay between races and their cultures?
Mark: I was thinking more racial humour. I can call you Crackers as much as I want, because I am also white. And I know a black guy, and he might give me permission to use that special word that they always beat up your cousin Heinrich for using.
Young: Thank you, Whitey Shafer, for that example of a stupid and quite possibly racist idea. And I doubt that anything gives you a free pass. What else.
Julia: Ponies!
Young: Next.
Ashley: A longer, more coherent story filled with subplots that intertween and eventually smashes together towards the end?
Young: I don't wanna write all that down.
Mark: These two in bikinis.
Young: Ashley.

¨
*Ashley broke the taperecorder on Marks head, after this, so the rest of the meeting was not recorded*

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Momento-us question

You know that desease from Momento, where you can only remember a few minutes at a time? My cousin Harold got that. He bumped his head and spend a week at the hospital, and has been calling around to thank people for the letters and flowers he got while he was there. My question is, how long before it is okay to ignore his calls. I mean, he has been calling to thank me for the letter every day for almost two years, now, which is a lot of gratitude for a yellow stickynote that says "Get well" on it. My mother changed her number, but that is not an option for me, as I worked hard and bribed many to get a number that kinda spells my name. A couple of letters are missing, since my name is longer than a standard phonenumber, but they were unwilling to give me a special long number.

I suppose that I should explain the premise

The idea is, I have commited a crime, but thanks to a legal loophole, I have gone to the big house for life. By "big house" I mean that I bought a large house and got housearrest for life. Don't worry, no one was harmed during my crime, nothing was destroyed or stolen. Not because of me, anyway.

So, I have to pass the time inside, with the help of my lodger Mark, Self-described Ladies-man, my former neighbour now lodger Ashley, probably as dangerous as she is cute and I will most likely get punched for calling her cute, and my personal assistant, Julia, who is either very bright or not very bright, I really should find out some day. She is, however, definently chipper. She also lives in my house. Yes, there is a lot of people living here, which does seem like something out of a lazy sit-com, yes.

Meanwhile, my former boss, Mr. Denby, has gone somewhat insane, and has dedicated his life to getting me back to jail. He is either angry because he thinks I slept with his daughter or because I didn't, I am not sure. "A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim", as someone once said.

My name is not to be known. You may call me by my nom de plume, Young Winston. I also live under the name Sanders. Well, I wrote Sanders over my front-door, and I live under it.

Oh, and Freeze Frame doesn't really mean anything. It was just a phrase that I liked. Madmanoz doesn't mean anything either. Lord-z was taken, so was Manoz, so I picked Mad Man o' Z. If you will, it can mean that life stands still, when you are in the big house. Well, my big house.

Freeze Frame