Twas the night before the rhyme

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Except a guy acting scouse
He was playing Ringo, the lovable brit
And generally acting as if being high of his tits
He wasn't really, he was just bored
"Locked in my house", he angrily snored
The blond neighbour babe said "Your own damn fault"
"And don't call be babe, or your eyes will get salt".
The tall guy in the corner said "I am not gonna rhyme"
While the readhead brought the shorter guy a lager and lime.
"But you hate lager and lime" said the redheaded spoilsport
"And I bet that you can't rhyme that" she said with a...



"Dang, you were right", he said, and found a thesaurus.
For he had lent his rhyming-dictionary to his neighbour Morris.
"Another word for spoilsport", he said out loud.
"There is no such thing", said the tall, non-rhyming, jerk.
"You can make me rhyme!", said the redheaded girl.
"You can make me rhyme, for exampel, words like Luggage and Twirl".
"Why are we doing this?", said the girl from next door
While the short guy was looking for a word that wasn't "floor".
"I throught you had written down the true story about us saving Chris Mess"
"Yes, I did, but I found it listless".
"Maybe next year we can do that, but for now
Chris Mess is safe from Denbys cow*".
"Wait", said the redhead "Chris Mess from down the road?"
"For a second I throught it was the holiday (Perhaps this is a forebode!)
So, see you all next year, my no doubt millions of fans and friends.
End of year one, but we will be back again!


*Long story, and to short a rhyme.
And I am rapidly running out of lager and lime.

Anniversary?

Young: "Jules, how long have I been blogging? A few weeks now?"
Julia: "No, it must have been at least five years now."
Young: "What, no. I was locked up, like, last month. I was blogging for a few days before that".
Julia: "No no, I started working here about five years ago, and you were already blogicating by then".
Young: "Is blogicating a real word? No matter, I will not hear it in my house ever again".
Ashley: "Hey, whattup?"
Young: "Ashley, how long have I been blogging?"
Ashley: "You moved in here, what, in March or so? You had already been blogging for several months then."
Julia: "No, he was blogging before I started working here, years ago".
Ashley: "No, you started blogging a few months before you moved in, earlier this year, and you were hired a couple of weeks later. End of story".
Young: "No, I think it was a few weeks ago since I started".
Julia: "No, several years ago".
Ashley: "Let us just check your to see when you started".
Young: "You're on! Lessee, *mumble mumble*"
Julia: "Why are you saying mumble mumble?"
Young: "Silence. Lessee, last page... One year ago... today?"
Ashley: "Told ya!"
Young: ..."Someone must have hacked my account and changed all the dates!"
Julia: "Yeah, they are all way behind what they are supposed to be!"
Young: "You mean way ahead"
Julia: "Behind!"
Young: "Ahead!"
Ashley: "Hey, whatever happened to Denby? He was a lot around in the early days".
Young: "Good question. I should give him a call. Just to remind him what I did to his daughter!"
Ashley: "Or, what he thinks that you did to his daughter that you were actually to germophobic to do and which she played along with because of an obsessive need to anger her father".
Young: ..."Are you still in my house?"
Ashley: "Yes I am. Wanna play Mario Kart?"
Young: "Sure".
Julia: "Yay, Mario Kart!"

I read a man on the run was able to update his blog

So how come I never seem to get around to it until the last moment or several days late?

A little bit Country

Julia: I got that CD that you wanted.
Mark: Great!
Young: Hey, what are you two crazy kids up to?
Mark: You are five days older than me.
Young: Thank you, but my question wasn't "How much older than you am I?".
Julia: Mark asked me to pick of a Greatest Hits of Country CD.
Young: You like country?
Mark: It is for my cousin... Bob...be...rick... Jackson.
Young: Bobberick Jackson?
Julia: Why didn't he buy the CD?
Mark: It is my christmas gift for cousin... Bobberick. That guy loves country.
Young: Why didn't you buy it?
Mark: I am an icon of sexiness in this town. My attractiveness would severely drop if it was re... rumoured that I love country. I simply cannot be seen near such a CD.
Julia: Wait, were you about to say revealed?
Young: Nice catch, Jule. Were you?
Mark: Alright, I confess. I got two ears and a heart, so sue me!
Young: I didn't think that you cared for 30 Rock.
Mark: Tina Fey is hot, so sue me!
Young: I can't disagree, but, I swear if you tell me to sue you one more time..
Mark: I like that phrase, so sue me!
Young: That is it. Julia, get my lawyer on the phone!

Speedy Delivery

*Doorbell*
Young: "Now, who could that be?"
Deliveryguy: "I got a package. It got this adress, and then just "Julia".
Young: "Yes, she lives here."
Deliveryguy: "Could you tell her to tell whoever sent this that you need to write the full name of the recipient?"
Young: "I am not sure that she has last name. She is like Cher that way. I should find out if she got one".
Deliveryguy: "Riiiight. Sir, if you could just sign here".
Young: "Alright. I'll just write my Button Gwynnett".
Deliveryguy: "Whatever."
Young: "Here you go".
Deliveryguy: "That's your name?"
Young: "What of it?"
Deliveryguy: "Nothing. Nothing..."
*Door slams*
Young: "No good, rotten, stinkin'... JULIA!"
Julia: "Yo!"
Young: "Stop saying that. I got a package that needs attending."
Julia: "I told your father when I was hired..."
Young: "What, no! Mind of my stuff! A guy just dropped this off".
Julia: "What is it?"
Young: "I always forget to ask".
Julia: "Lets see..."
Young: "Hey, do you have a last name?"
Julia: "No. I'm like Cher, that way."
Young: "Alright, what have you got...?"
*Beat*
Julia: "Is that...?"
Young: "It most certainly looks that way".
Julia: "It is from my sister".
Young: "Your sister gives you stuff like that?"
Julia: "Apparently."
Young: "Is it something that you wished for?"
Julia: "Who would want something like that, especially when living in a tectonic relationship with your employer".
Young: "You mean platonic. Platonic means "without romance"."
Julia: "What does Tectonic mean?"
Young: "Moving of the continents".
Julia: "Well, there will be none of that in this house, mister".
Young: "I know. I wrote that rule".