RIP Carlin

Rest in peace, George. Rest in peace. My desire, right now, is to yell out several of the dirty words, but that is not my style. And, I believe that the only way to honor him is to write something that will, hopefully, entertain you.

I haven't mentioned Denby in a while, have I? Well, a few weeks back, he decided that his new course of action was to smoke me out with monotomy. So, every day, from 2 to 5 PM, he has been playing the Tuba on my yard. In response, we have also chosen a new course of action: Ignoring him. So, we haven't even looked at him for weeks, much less thrown stuff at him. But, he is ignoring our ignoring him, so we are really getting nowhere. It is, pretty much a battle of wills, at this point. And, I am a master of ignoring. On IMDB, hundreds of people on my ignorelist. But, Denby is sort of like a really persistant troll. And, Oompah is sort of like the real-life version of trolling. They are just trying to make other people angry, for no real reason. You know why? Because they are jerks. Damn bavarians.

The band of neighbours, friends and hired geeks

Me, Ashley, Mark and Julia decided that we should start a band. Or, we were talking about what instruments we played and Julia insisted. And why not? We can't really go out on tour, but it might help distract me from boredom. I play the violin, Ashley plays the banjo, Mark plays the bongo and Julia, for reasons that I sensed that I probably would regret knowing, plays the jug. We started out with deciding on a name, which is, ofcourse, the most important part of any band. We each had our own idea of the ideal name, like "Ashley and the Ashbury Angels", "Mark the Days", "Julia and the Headliners", and so on. We finally settled on Adamant, but someone pointed out that that was the name of a great singer of the eighties, minus a space between the first and last name. So, we were back where we started. I wrote down a list of the names as we throught of them, and why they were not chosen.

Various Black Men - Non of us are black and only two are men, claims Ashley. Mark made suggestive remark, Ashley threatened that if he continued, the number of men would fall and the number of women rise by one each.
The Castro Collective - Apparently, Fidel Castro is not a well loved, jolly old man, which was certainly my understanding. Julia claims that it is someone referred to as the Santa Claus that brings presents at christmas. I am still reasonably certain that Fidel Castro was the one who brought presents in my home.
Nightshade - Sounds emo, ew.
Nightshave - Sounds infinently more cool. Ashleys calls it the stupideds name she has ever heard.
Intercourse - Mark found it funny. Ashley suggested the next name.
Mark is an Idiot - We all liked it, but Mark voted it down.
PoopDog - Mark suggested this one.
Booger - Ashleys suggestion. We think it might be sarcasm in response to Marks suggestions.
Kitty and the Cats - Sounds to cute.
Psychotic Mailmen out for Blood of Random Children- Not cute enough. Julia is scaring me.
Friends of Sweetums - Julia is feeling better, but this suggestion was voted down.
Hug-Patroll - Julia is on a roll.
JazzMan - No jazz. No suggestion of jazz in my house.

Eventually we settled on Wolfram. I think that it is some sort of chemical element. I saw it on TV once, and wrote it down, because it is a really cool name. So, we had to decide on a sound. I voted rock, Mark voted electro, Ashley voted metal and Julia voted bubblegum pop. Then we decided to just play and see what happened. As it turned out, our individual instruments sounds terrible when together. So, none of us are fans of our band, at the moment. But we are gonna give it a few more days. I mean, now we went through all the trouble of finding a name, so we might as well try to find a sound. Now, excuse me, but I need to get Julia away from my violin. Either that, or someone is torturing a dog in my livingroom. Either way, I will not have it!

9 out of ten doctors agree:

They all hate the tenth doctor. Who does that jerk think he is? I mean, do you like anything, or are you just being difficult? Grow up, you big baby.

My top ten things ever!

1: Hunky Dory. Besides being one of the worlds greatest albums, alongside a couple of other Bowie albums, it is a fine word. "Everything is hunky dory".
2: Soap. It keeps me clean. It kills germs.
3: The previous decade. It sucks while you are in it, but it always looks better in contrast to the current decade. For example, the nineties, brought a lot of sucky music, but right now it looks pretty good in comparison to the music we have now.
4: Black, grey, white and beige. Because all of my clothes are in those colours. Yes, sir, no pink shirts in my closet. And no poloshirts either. If I had had to wear a poloshirt as part of a schooluniform, someone would have been in for a surprise. Yeah, I would probably have gotten detention every day, from principal Mitler. I never liked that guy. Mitler was a jerk, always followed by that slimy guy, Wobbels. Math, with Mr. Van Trasigk, I hated. We used to call him Mr. Tragic. Even lunch sucked. Mr. Sacke was not the lunchlady that you would have hoped for. He always served gruel. I remember once that, for a joke, Barney went over to Sacke and said "Please sir, can I have some more". And we laughed, especially Mr. Sacke, but only afterwards, when he had thrown Barney in a sack and beaten him to within an inch of his life, afterwhich the rest of the staff would get a chance to smack the sack around. Mr. Mitler would refer to this practice as "Machen Spass". I know that I was going somewhere with this post, but I can't remember what. Probably, stay in school. Cut, print, publish!