Another new resident

Julia: Hey, Young...
Young: I told you how I want to be referred to.
Julia: I am not gonna call you Mistah Boss-man. I won that bet.
Young: Fair enough. What is it, (*Shudder*) Milady.
Julia: Well, I have this friend and her and her boyfriend just broke up and, y'know, they had this...
Young: Proceed.
Julia: Well, they had, well, she still has, this labrador.
Young: An eskimo?
Julia: No, a dog.
Young: Ah.
Julia: Anyway, she has this labrador and she can't have it anymore, because she is moving into an apartment with this guy named Jan, which is funny, because her name is Jan too, and Jan, the boy Jan, he has a cat, which is allowed in the apartment provided that they stay indoors, but dogs are not allowed, so I was wondering...
Young: Is it yellow?
Julia: Yes?
Young: Yes, we can have a dog.
Julia: Yay! Can I give you a hug!
Young: No.
Julia: ...
Young: ...
Julia: ...
Young: Okay, a short one.
Julia: Yay! ... Hey, wait a minute, is the only reason that you allow this that I have to walk the dog, because you can't leave the house?
Young: Partly. And because if I smell even the faintest whiff or poop indoors, I will personally sell the dog to a loving family. So, if it has an accident, you better be around to fix it before I enter the room.
Julia: Yes Sir!
Young: Thats more like it.

Year Two: A new Year

So, I was sitting around, minding my own business, watching Monty Python, when this little redheaded girl came over to me and said "Hey, did you remember to update your blog?". I said "I will do it in the new year". Well, apparently, we are not on chinese new year. Yes, it came as a surprise for me too. And what is worse, I am not chinese, apparently. Just a white guy of european origin. Probably scandinavian.



So, anyway, I will try to be better at updating this year.

Twas the night before the rhyme

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Except a guy acting scouse
He was playing Ringo, the lovable brit
And generally acting as if being high of his tits
He wasn't really, he was just bored
"Locked in my house", he angrily snored
The blond neighbour babe said "Your own damn fault"
"And don't call be babe, or your eyes will get salt".
The tall guy in the corner said "I am not gonna rhyme"
While the readhead brought the shorter guy a lager and lime.
"But you hate lager and lime" said the redheaded spoilsport
"And I bet that you can't rhyme that" she said with a...



"Dang, you were right", he said, and found a thesaurus.
For he had lent his rhyming-dictionary to his neighbour Morris.
"Another word for spoilsport", he said out loud.
"There is no such thing", said the tall, non-rhyming, jerk.
"You can make me rhyme!", said the redheaded girl.
"You can make me rhyme, for exampel, words like Luggage and Twirl".
"Why are we doing this?", said the girl from next door
While the short guy was looking for a word that wasn't "floor".
"I throught you had written down the true story about us saving Chris Mess"
"Yes, I did, but I found it listless".
"Maybe next year we can do that, but for now
Chris Mess is safe from Denbys cow*".
"Wait", said the redhead "Chris Mess from down the road?"
"For a second I throught it was the holiday (Perhaps this is a forebode!)
So, see you all next year, my no doubt millions of fans and friends.
End of year one, but we will be back again!


*Long story, and to short a rhyme.
And I am rapidly running out of lager and lime.

Anniversary?

Young: "Jules, how long have I been blogging? A few weeks now?"
Julia: "No, it must have been at least five years now."
Young: "What, no. I was locked up, like, last month. I was blogging for a few days before that".
Julia: "No no, I started working here about five years ago, and you were already blogicating by then".
Young: "Is blogicating a real word? No matter, I will not hear it in my house ever again".
Ashley: "Hey, whattup?"
Young: "Ashley, how long have I been blogging?"
Ashley: "You moved in here, what, in March or so? You had already been blogging for several months then."
Julia: "No, he was blogging before I started working here, years ago".
Ashley: "No, you started blogging a few months before you moved in, earlier this year, and you were hired a couple of weeks later. End of story".
Young: "No, I think it was a few weeks ago since I started".
Julia: "No, several years ago".
Ashley: "Let us just check your to see when you started".
Young: "You're on! Lessee, *mumble mumble*"
Julia: "Why are you saying mumble mumble?"
Young: "Silence. Lessee, last page... One year ago... today?"
Ashley: "Told ya!"
Young: ..."Someone must have hacked my account and changed all the dates!"
Julia: "Yeah, they are all way behind what they are supposed to be!"
Young: "You mean way ahead"
Julia: "Behind!"
Young: "Ahead!"
Ashley: "Hey, whatever happened to Denby? He was a lot around in the early days".
Young: "Good question. I should give him a call. Just to remind him what I did to his daughter!"
Ashley: "Or, what he thinks that you did to his daughter that you were actually to germophobic to do and which she played along with because of an obsessive need to anger her father".
Young: ..."Are you still in my house?"
Ashley: "Yes I am. Wanna play Mario Kart?"
Young: "Sure".
Julia: "Yay, Mario Kart!"

I read a man on the run was able to update his blog

So how come I never seem to get around to it until the last moment or several days late?

A little bit Country

Julia: I got that CD that you wanted.
Mark: Great!
Young: Hey, what are you two crazy kids up to?
Mark: You are five days older than me.
Young: Thank you, but my question wasn't "How much older than you am I?".
Julia: Mark asked me to pick of a Greatest Hits of Country CD.
Young: You like country?
Mark: It is for my cousin... Bob...be...rick... Jackson.
Young: Bobberick Jackson?
Julia: Why didn't he buy the CD?
Mark: It is my christmas gift for cousin... Bobberick. That guy loves country.
Young: Why didn't you buy it?
Mark: I am an icon of sexiness in this town. My attractiveness would severely drop if it was re... rumoured that I love country. I simply cannot be seen near such a CD.
Julia: Wait, were you about to say revealed?
Young: Nice catch, Jule. Were you?
Mark: Alright, I confess. I got two ears and a heart, so sue me!
Young: I didn't think that you cared for 30 Rock.
Mark: Tina Fey is hot, so sue me!
Young: I can't disagree, but, I swear if you tell me to sue you one more time..
Mark: I like that phrase, so sue me!
Young: That is it. Julia, get my lawyer on the phone!

Speedy Delivery

*Doorbell*
Young: "Now, who could that be?"
Deliveryguy: "I got a package. It got this adress, and then just "Julia".
Young: "Yes, she lives here."
Deliveryguy: "Could you tell her to tell whoever sent this that you need to write the full name of the recipient?"
Young: "I am not sure that she has last name. She is like Cher that way. I should find out if she got one".
Deliveryguy: "Riiiight. Sir, if you could just sign here".
Young: "Alright. I'll just write my Button Gwynnett".
Deliveryguy: "Whatever."
Young: "Here you go".
Deliveryguy: "That's your name?"
Young: "What of it?"
Deliveryguy: "Nothing. Nothing..."
*Door slams*
Young: "No good, rotten, stinkin'... JULIA!"
Julia: "Yo!"
Young: "Stop saying that. I got a package that needs attending."
Julia: "I told your father when I was hired..."
Young: "What, no! Mind of my stuff! A guy just dropped this off".
Julia: "What is it?"
Young: "I always forget to ask".
Julia: "Lets see..."
Young: "Hey, do you have a last name?"
Julia: "No. I'm like Cher, that way."
Young: "Alright, what have you got...?"
*Beat*
Julia: "Is that...?"
Young: "It most certainly looks that way".
Julia: "It is from my sister".
Young: "Your sister gives you stuff like that?"
Julia: "Apparently."
Young: "Is it something that you wished for?"
Julia: "Who would want something like that, especially when living in a tectonic relationship with your employer".
Young: "You mean platonic. Platonic means "without romance"."
Julia: "What does Tectonic mean?"
Young: "Moving of the continents".
Julia: "Well, there will be none of that in this house, mister".
Young: "I know. I wrote that rule".

I wonder what I would look like wearing a hat...

I was gonna order a hat online, but Ashley reprogrammed and installed a nanny-filter, that prevents me from surfing online hat-stores. Last time I call Scrooge McDuck a stylish fella.







Who am I kidding, I say that every time I watch Duck Tales.

Adressing the Issues

Julia: Hey, I was looking through your adressbook, and you always say that you have nearly no friends, but there are hundreds of names, adresses and phonenumbers in here.
Young: Yeah?
Julia: Should I repeat?
Ashley: Young...
Young: Stop calling me that.
Ashley: Young, there are lots of friends listed in your adressbook.
Young: Those aren't friends.
Ashley: Then, who are they?
Young: Just people I know.
Julia: For example, who is Big Fred Butt-Stare?
Young: Big Fred? He is a male stripper. He dances at my sisters partys. Nice guy.
Ashley: Why is he in your adressbook?
Young: We hang out before he goes onstage. Hm. Note to self: Find out when Denbys birthday is and send Big Fred over.
Ashley: You got a taperecorder AND a dictaphone now?
Julia: Don't ask. What about Lilli Leggers?
Young: Lilli Leggers, the stripper who is preggers.
Julia: How can she be permanently pregnant?
Young: She is not. She is just front-heavy. I hired her for Marks bachelor-party.
Ashley: Mark was going to get married?
Young: No, He just had the bachelor-party.
Julia: What about... The Olsen Tw... YOU KNOW THE OLSEN TWINS?!?!
Young: Yes. Don and Dan Olsen.
Julia: Oh...
Young: They are bakers. They make the best Keylime pie this side of the Limpopo.
Ashley: I am gonna look up if Limpopo is a real word.
Julia: One more. This one is crossed out. S. Hussein, and so is U. and Q. Hussein... Actually, I think I might prefer to not be certain who they are.
Young: As you should be.
Julia: G.W. Bush?
Young: Yeah, my mother asked me to call him about some sort of job, but I never got around to it.
Julia: What kind of job?
Young: Nothing fancy. Secretary of the Interior, or something. But I didn't want to go all the way to Seattle to take phonecalls and take memos all day and not be allowed outside.
Julia: Seattle?
Young: I was told that the job was in Washington, so...
Julia: Now you are just making fun of me, aren't you?
Young: Yeah. Why were you looking in my adressbook anyway?
Julia: Somebody named Gretchen called, but I can't find the piece of paper where I wrote her number, and she isn't in your adressbook.
Young: ...
Julia: Sorry.
Young: Meh. S'allright. Hey, the West Wing is on!

Clarification

Young just said that Marks non-existing Teddy's name was Lady Hugsalot. That is so cute!!!

-Julia

Mark doesn't know how to blog

But he just wants to let everyone know that he never had a teddy bear and that he certainly hasn't kept it under his bed when ladies come over.

-Ashley

Clarification

Not as much "cute" as it is insanely creepy seeing a, technically, grown man enjoy a 22 year old teddy. It is alright when women does it. That is why my old teddy, called Gloria, sits right next to my bed.

-Ashley

Explanation

My boss, who we have all decided to just call Young, like Ashley suggested, recieved a box from his mother. In there was a teddy-bear. Apparently, it is Youngs old teddy, from when he was a child, named Mr. Teddington. It is really cute, to see a grown man be so happy about a teddy bear. Almost as happy as I am with Princess Cuteybear!

-Julia

No time for Blog, Doctor Jones!

I found Mr. Teddington!

A Quick Update!

1Julia: Hey, did you update your blog today.
Young: Today is Sunday, Jules. Freeze Frame updates mondays.
Julia: Why mondays?
Young: It started randomly, then I just decided to make that the official update-day.
Julia: Oh, Okay.
Young: Ayep. Monday is Blog-day in this house.
Julia: Today is monday.
Young:... Jesus christ, I haven't written anything yet!
Julia: I throught you wrote weeks in advance.
Young: I haven't for several weeks! Find a tape!
Julia: Where are the tapes?
Young: In the filecabinet!
Julia: Where are the keys?
Young:...Where are the keys?
Julia: I spend hours on writing some of them down. Where are the transcripts?
Young: I moved them to the external harddisk and put them in... the... filecabinet... for safekeeping...
Julia: Do you need to update today?
Young: I can't let down my no doubt millions of adoring fans!
Julia: Millions?
Young: I need a tape!
Julia: Where is the key?
Young: Where is the key?
Julia: Where did you have it last?
Young: Where did I have it last?
Julia: You don't where it is?
Young: I don't know where it is.
Julia: Stop repeating me!
Young: Where the heck do we find a tape?
Julia: The only tape not locked in is...
Young:...
Julia:...
Young:...
Julia:... Yes!
Young: No! I need that for recording the rest of the day!
Julie: Then you need to write something.
Young...